So far everything is worked out with W's new interest. We had some decent bumps in the beginning but, here we are. They are on a date, and I'm doing okay. Previously I was in the middle of some mental health struggles and it was the exact wrong time to start introducing his first new partner in a year. BUT, I pushed for them to do what they wanted because I felt wrong saying, "I'm unwell, can we hold off on adding new partners until my meds are straight?" (I have now been told to do just that in the future by W.) So, I suppose I could have handled all of that better.
Now that my meds are straight and I'm feeling okay, I get only the slightest tightness in my chest, like anxiety, when he leaves me to be with her. This is our first time with him dating anyone else since he left his wife. I am certain soon enough that will turn to compersion cuz that's just who I am. I trust him, but even though she and I have been friends for 15 years, I've never been in a relationship/relationship adjacent to her before. I don't know how she handles things, especially in a poly setting, as she's a little newish to it. So, I told him, nothing will change my fears except time and experience, and I'm willing to wait for both.
Now, on to the important stuff. W and I have a song!!!!!! There is this song we like, and he put it on a playlist he's making me out of all the songs I like that he plays when we are out driving. But, this song came on last night. The beginning is so dreamy. Anyhow, when it came on, I was looking at him, and I was about to say "Hey, turn it up," but I didn't get the chance, because he was already turning it up. and it was just such a sweet moment and we just sat there in silence. I smiled and said, "This is our song" I'm sure that maybe it seemed super meaningful because I was stoned, but there was something about the way the streetlights were catching the light in his eyes in that moment....
*~*~*Slutty Heart*~*~*
Now that my meds are straight and I'm feeling okay, I get only the slightest tightness in my chest, like anxiety, when he leaves me to be with her. This is our first time with him dating anyone else since he left his wife. I am certain soon enough that will turn to compersion cuz that's just who I am. I trust him, but even though she and I have been friends for 15 years, I've never been in a relationship/relationship adjacent to her before. I don't know how she handles things, especially in a poly setting, as she's a little newish to it. So, I told him, nothing will change my fears except time and experience, and I'm willing to wait for both.
Now, on to the important stuff. W and I have a song!!!!!! There is this song we like, and he put it on a playlist he's making me out of all the songs I like that he plays when we are out driving. But, this song came on last night. The beginning is so dreamy. Anyhow, when it came on, I was looking at him, and I was about to say "Hey, turn it up," but I didn't get the chance, because he was already turning it up. and it was just such a sweet moment and we just sat there in silence. I smiled and said, "This is our song" I'm sure that maybe it seemed super meaningful because I was stoned, but there was something about the way the streetlights were catching the light in his eyes in that moment....
*Watch our lives drift away, they burn out quietly.*
*~*~*Slutty Heart*~*~*
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