Lately, there have been some issues with B and I and trying to figure out exactly where things are, where they will go, if anywhere at all, from what B says, it's a 50/50 chance, and hey, I love gambling. What can I say?
I wrote this for B, in response to our 'talk' about 'us'.
Columbus Took A Chance
I wish I could say this was a story of unrequited love
at least then I would be tragic, brokenhearted,
exhausted by my own wretched sobs
Instead I kind of feel a funny mushy feeling
in your general direction
I ask you if it's a mistake to care
and you tell me wordlessly
that it's the very best mistake
When I try and walk away
you tell me in a song
"if this means anything at all
don't let me leave you."
And unfortunately it does mean something
If only, I knew what
I know only that I adore the little bruises
you leave behind
and your crooked smile
the way you whisper "you're beautiful."
My other love fears for my one day
inevitably broken heart
I'm a grownup I tell her
I can take it
Some days it's as if my world gets lost
in your almond eyes
and one day you'll just blink
and become a destroyer of worlds
Maybe there are no wretched sobs in this story
this tale of the funny mushy feeling
that I feel in your general direction
but there are silent tears
banging behind my eyes
on nights that I can't find sleep
Not because I can't imagine me without you
but because I can't imagine not even letting the reigns go slack
not trying, not being naked and truthful with you
not discovering in myself a vulnerable person
willing to let this story unfold
I would rather ask myself a week from now
a month or a year
what have I done?
with tears shining in my eyes, while I tell a story
of unrequited love
than say that I wish I had tried.