Saturday, June 9, 2018

What a difference a year makes...



Around this time last year I was very happy with all of my relationships and all the forms they were taking. In that year I lost a bf. It was for the best and we are still friends. I'm also still friends with my ex meta. Everything ended on good terms and is the best option for all involved. He had warned me ahead of time he could barely handle one woman, let alone two. I didn't listen,  he was right, and I saw it with my own eyes and opted out.

This past February I met a man and I have the madly, truly, deeply type lovings for him. In past relationships, I  honestly settled a lot. Because I am acutely aware not one person will fill every need I have as a human being. So I let a lot slide, but some things were too big to let go. Which is why I had to leave one of my relationships last year. I feel very fulfilled and I don't feel like I am settling AND I feel like my needs are being met my by current polycule better than ever before. I am still with K, R and I'm connected to D still now more than ever, but, also, W. W has been around almost 4 months now, and we are very compatible. We met two years ago, tried to date, but it wasn't the right time in our lives. Now, things are much different and everything is cool. The fact he's going through a divorce (in small part due to him deciding he is definitely poly and his wife decided after trying it that she is definitely not.) is a little messy but otherwise things are great.

Something I find is a challenge to me in relationships is trusting people enough to make them feel that I am fully invested in the relationship and also being vulnerable. I'm not terribly trusting when it comes to the big stuff and I'm never, ever, vulnerable to new people. Chalk it up to the usual, getting burned one too many times in the past.

Lately I have been changing, I've been trusting, I've been vulnerable with K in ways I haven't before and also W has opened up a vulnerable side to me I didn't even know existed. Part of it is just this time in my life, and part of it is the influence of people who care about me begging to be let in. I just can't keep building walls to keep people out and then expect them to stick around. I can't.

Anyhow....it's JUNE! Pride month. I'm going to a pride event tonight with K, W and maybe R if he's feeling up to socializing. I'm super excited. :D

Also, I'm going to anthrocon again this year, I now have a fursona (lexi, she's a skunk!) and I hope to get some art this year commissioned at least of K and I, if not others pieces as well.

Fun times to be had by all.  :)













*~*~*Slutty Heart*~*~*

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