Friday, March 21, 2014

Short and sweet

Today K got to come home from the psych hospital, she seems to feel so much better, and I love to hear all the hope in  her for her future and being well and love and gush and sqee!

Ahem, I must compose myself.

Anyhow, I feel like this experience has strengthened our little triad. We went through a rough first month of living together, but it was good at the same time. It's difficult to describe, the way we on one hand watched her cycle between deteriorating and stable and manic to a full blown, "time to call a mobile unit to the house and take her away."  Going on a two-hour ride out to the hospital to see her dumb cute face that I missed so much.

The ride up was stressful. Before we left I was snapping at R badly and just kind of being a bitch in general, it took a good couple of hours before I realized I was dreading the hospital trip. But it was okay, once we got there I honed in and focused on K and how she felt that I didn't have time to think about all of my time with past hospitalizations. That made me feel good. That I was so present in that moment of wanting to be there for her, that I could put my anxieties and fears and weird hospital ptsd shit to bed for an hour or so to be a comfort to her made me feel good. I knew, that moment that I could handle it...then on the way home I heard Unconditionally, and talked to R about how I felt, and that was it. We had sealed the deal. I would tough it out.

Now she is home though, and I want to go snuggle with her so I'll keep tonight's entry short and sweet.

*~*~*Slutty Heart*~*~*

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