Monday, May 15, 2017

"True Love in this differs from gold and clay/That to divide is not to take away.”

So, I haven’t written here for a very, very long time. In the past nearly three years a lot has happened. My polycule has honestly not changed much in terms of who is involved in it, but their roles in my life have changed. K spent the last two years being monogamous with a guy who they are currently trying to open their relationship with. We are, in some way, shape, or form, still, an item, K, R and I. J and I have recently started dating, taking our ‘friends with benefits’ and ‘broey-ness’ to a different place altogether. He is also dating a long time friend of mine. Things are pretty much the same with D, still a long-term play partner whom I care about deeply.

So while the structure of some things has changed, and B is gone entirely (friends still, but he is back at monogamy now.) life is still amazing. Relationships shift and change and evolve over time, and that is okay. K and R and I all kind of took some time apart when we split originally. Then when the hurt was a little less, we became friends again, and now it’s entirely clear to all of us that it was a bad time in our lives to try such a thing, but that we are glad we did, and we learned from it, and we are pretty certain that regardless of the form it takes, we will probably always be in each other lives in some loving capacity. We love each other so much, and when we are all together it’s still just fireworks and cuteness and adorbs all over the place. It’s a thing.

Part of the reason for the split was poor mental health on my and K’s part. Both of us were suffering and didn’t know how to be there for each other, and neither of us knew how to NOT make the other’s situation worse through triggers while we dealt with our own manic and depressive episodes.

R and I are still going strong. We celebrated 22 years on March 9th, 2017. Right now we are dealing with some poor mental health on my part, but that is an ongoing struggle. There are some days when I don’t know how I do it really, but, still, here I am.

I plan to come back to this blog. I plan to spruce it up, I’m going to go back and work on the grammar for sure, haha, but I’m going to make this a nice place. Feel free to check back. :)

*~*~*Slutty Heart*~*~*

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